Standing in line at a fancy grocery store, I spotted a display (among many).
EXTRA EXTRA VIRGIN OLIVE OIL! It proclaimed.
Excuse me? I thought. Extra extra? Isn’t that a little unnecessary?
That is to say, I never really understood the concept of Extra Virgin Olive Oil to begin with. Is it made from olives that aren’t allowed to touch other olives? Are they modestly shielded from life’s elements by tarps?
And Extra Extra Virgin Olives – what on earth does that entail?
Or does the “virgin” refer to the oil itself? Has it never been mixed with another oil, commingling and developing new, brassy flavors? I certainly hope not, one takes for granted when one buys olive oil that it is, in fact, olive oil, and not some other hybrid. But then it seems that they shouldn’t have to bellow about its virginity so explicitly.
Having all these thoughts in the line at the store, I suddenly reached a breaking point. I wanted to tap the older woman in front of me on the shoulder and ask her my question, maybe she’d know the answer. But no, that wasn’t enough. I wanted to stand up in a shopping cart, I wanted to address the store at large, I wanted to shout it to the heavens: “Isn’t just being a virgin enough for you people anymore?”
It’s not just olive oil – women, too, now, are expected to come with a label that reads Extra Extra Virgin.
Much of society appears to have decided – rather abruptly, if you ask me – that it is not enough to wait for a person, time, and place that connote “right” and “safe” before you have sex for the first time. To make the whole process more efficient and less painful, the decision-making process has been streamlined – good news! You’re no longer required to make those pesky decisions; we’ve done it for you.
Place: Hotel Room.
I could say a lot of things about the abstinence program. I could say that repression, sexual or otherwise, isn’t healthy. (See this movie to learn how it leads to broken families, insanity, and arguably the Great Depression.)
I could say that it makes people ashamed of what’s perfectly natural, and thus leads to self-loathing.
But I think I’m going to focus mainly on how creepy it is. (more…)